Stacey’s story

Stacey’s* life began with unimaginable trauma. She experienced abuse, a turbulent family home, and exposure to addiction from a young age. Kicked out at 16 and, years later, fleeing a coercive and abusive relationship, Stacey faced homelessness and instability throughout her life. But with her determination, our team’s compassionate support, and her loving sister, Stacey is rebuilding herself and is excited to embrace life again.

“I was sexually abused by my eldest brother when I was seven. I used to go to bed and pray I’d die in my sleep. No seven-year-old should think like that.

“Alcoholism hit my mum. She would get really nasty and dangerous when she drank. My family home was a horrible place to be.

“The only person I had was my dad. He was a fantastic father—he always has been. I don’t know why he and my mum married. They are totally different people. He was an army man.”

Stacey saw all sorts of people come and go in her family home, with drug users living there, too. Getting high was normalised at a young age and, unfortunately, became a learnt behaviour as she got into her teenage years.

“I remember one woman called Sue who used to come to my home. She would smoke crack near our phone box, and I would think, ‘Fuck, I’d love to try that.’

“I started taking drugs when I was 14 years old, and it broke my father’s heart. I was constantly in trouble, running away from home. He kicked me out when I was 16—I don’t blame him. I don’t know why he didn’t do it earlier.”

From one battle to the next

Stacey was homeless and had nowhere to turn. She moved through Ireland before making her way to England, landing in Leeds, where she lived with her partner. Unfortunately, Stacey’s story of abuse didn’t stop there.

Like many women we support, she experienced domestic abuse and was forced to flee her home for her safety. Searching for refuge, she made her way to Liverpool and stayed in a specialist women’s hostel.

“I had to leave my ex. He was so coercive. He would accuse me of sleeping with the neighbour across the road. I was afraid to breathe around him. (Stacey’s full example of coercive control can’t be shared as it’s that horrific.)

“My anxiety would go through the roof as soon as I heard him getting up in the mornings. I wasn’t allowed a phone and couldn’t speak to anyone. I had to run away.

“It was incredibly hard to leave for good. My ex was so controlling. I was in and out of the women’s refuge 1,000 times but decided there wouldn’t be a 1001st time. That’s the last time I saw him.”

Betrayed and alone

Stacey felt isolated and vulnerable in a city unfamiliar to her. She needed the love and support of her family, and she thought she could rely on her younger brother.

“My brother said for me to come to London, and he would look after me. But that hasn’t happened.

“He’d kick me out of the home whenever my money ran out. He’s struggling badly from addiction, too. We aren’t good for each other.

“I don’t talk to my brother now. But the longer I stay away from him, the more he looks for me. He doesn’t like to see me happy and clean—he gets bitter. It’s been hard, but my life is better without him.”

It took massive courage for Stacey to cut her brother out of her life. But with nowhere to live, she was forced to rough sleep. The streets became both a refuge from her brother and a living hell.

“When you’re on the street as a woman, you’re in constant danger. I’d sleep near a CCTV camera for some safety. People are less likely to do anything to you.

“Men think they can do whatever they want to you—offering me 20 pounds for sex. It’s fucking degrading. I don’t do sex work.

“I don’t know how I survived the streets. It was freezing. I was starving—I lived off sandwiches for years. I’m sick of them now.

“I’d see this mother and daughter meet on Saturdays to go shopping around Christmas time while I was rough sleeping, and it would break my heart. I’d think, ‘Why couldn’t my mother be just like that?’ I would cry when they walked past me.”

With support and love, Stacey is finding joy again

Luckily, Stacey found our support and is now living in one of our North London hostels. She is looking forward to Christmas this year and plans to spend it with her sister, a teacher in Egypt. Her sister has become a beacon of hope for Stacey, offering understanding and support while shining through the darkness caused by other family members.

At Single Homeless Project, rekindling family connections is at the heart of our support, and we go above and beyond to make it possible. Loving, supportive family members can make a world of difference in helping the Londoners we support leave homelessness behind.

“It’s going to be lovely to see my sister again. We lost contact when I was struggling with addiction. I was embarrassed.

“My sister said to me recently, ‘Stacey, we’ve always loved you. You just wanted to keep away. You should never be embarrassed around me. I’m your family.’”

Stacey couldn’t be more thankful to her Support Worker, Steven, and the team around her for supporting her to where she is now.

“Steven really understands me. He’s an ex-alcoholic, so he knows what addiction is like. I never feel judged by him, and I know I can talk to him about anything. Everyone here has been so great.”

Finding light in life again

Steven and the team are with Stacey every step of the way as she works through her recovery. She’s starting to look forward to life again and is about to go to Winter Wonderland—excited to experience the childhood joy she missed out on.

“It’s going to be a magical experience. I’ve been counting the days. It feels like a new beginning for me. I haven’t done anything like Winter Wonderland in a long, long time. It’s going to be bloody brilliant.”

Stacey’s journey isn’t over yet, but with the support of those who care, she is carving out a new path. It’s been a hard road, but she’s learning to believe in herself again each day.

We’re so proud of you, Stacey!