Sandra has been in and out of hostels for years, rough sleeping and not getting the proper support, something we hear from many women. But after coming to one of our specialist women-only hostels, she hasn’t looked back. With our support and Sandra’s determination, she is reuniting with her family. Sandra wants other women to know that when they open up and talk about their experiences, they can get help like her and blossom.
“When I was a child, I was abused by my uncle. I had a baby with him, and that’s where my journey started going down. My son is adopted and is a barrister now, but I haven’t seen him for 35 years.
“I went down the wrong road with the wrong people and became homeless. Social services got involved, and my children were taken from me.
“I was homeless for five years, shoplifting to get by. Every year, I would end up in prison. It felt like an endless loop, with me constantly going in circles.
“It’s more dangerous for women to be rough sleeping than for men. Women are more vulnerable. Men can abuse you. I was nearly raped in my sleep at 5 a.m. while I was sleeping out. I was sleeping in a subway on Finchley Road, and I woke up to a man on top of me. Luckily, someone walking past grabbed him and called the police.”
Finding strength and safety
When Sandra came to Grace House, she weighed only seven stone and was terrified; it’s no wonder that the average age of death for homeless women is just 43.
But in a year, with help from the Single Homeless Project and the women around her, things couldn’t be more different.
I tried to get help many times, and I’ve fallen. I wasn’t ready then, but I’m ready now.
“I’ve been out of prison for three years, thank God. And since I came here—I haven’t looked back. I’ve been to many hostels and didn’t like them. I would stay a day, leave, run away and hide. I don’t know what scared me, but the fear was always there. But Grace House is the best hostel I’ve ever been to, and I’m finally happy; I feel safe.
“The staff here are very supportive and consistent. They understand; they know the journey we’ve been on. They don’t give you five minutes of their time; they give you all their time. It’s brilliant that it’s a women-only hostel as I can’t be around men.
“I’m proud that I’m clean now. I’m on methadone, and I’m on the straight and narrow. I’ve been engaging with all the services. I have bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and a personality disorder. Arts and crafts help as an outlet.”
A path to family
Sandra is still in recovery, but her resilience and determination have been incredible. She is working towards her next step: getting her family back together.
“I’m in close contact with my son again; we’ve got a brilliant relationship. I’m also in contact with my other son and have a good relationship with my brother. So, all my boys are coming together now.
I’m not out of the woods yet; anything could happen. I’m just starting my journey. I want to be sitting around a table next Christmas with all my boys around me having dinner. That’s my journey.”
We asked Sandra what she thought would help other women with similar experiences.
“There needs to be more specialist support for things like mental health and abuse. We should hear more from those who have lived our experiences. People don’t understand this life unless they’ve walked it themselves.
“There is help out there. If you talk about things, you get help. It’s like a little flower: if you open up and talk about things, you can get help and blossom. Speak out. You have a voice. There are people out there who will hear you. There are people out there who will listen.”
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